Gaming with Anxiety

I’ve written about mental health on here before but this week I’m going to be addressing the subject of how anxiety affects me in a table-top context and how I cope with that.

If this isn’t something you want to read, or if it is something you find upsetting, feel free to click away from this page.

My anxiety in this context revolves around social matters, so experiencing it in the safe space of a table-top game actually helps me to develop coping mechanisms that allow me to deal with anxiety away from the game. Hopefully these methods can help you if you ever find yourself in a similar situation.

The primary result of my anxiety is the consistent feeling that I’ve been rude, or otherwise acted inappropriately. Typically this is because I think that I’ve spoken over someone, or that my actions in the game have worsened their experience.
The only way I’ve found to deal with this (in addition to the general one I will explain below) is to carefully think over what I’ve done that could have prompted this feeling. Usually, when I’m doing this, I realise that what I’m worrying about, in a previous situation, was not as bad as my mind tells me it is. I can then use that realisation to persuade myself that I haven’t done anything wrong, and that there is no reason for me to be upset, to varying degrees of success.

The other most common result is, if you pardon the phrase, performance anxiety, specifically that I messed up in my portrayal of my character, that I wasn’t true to previously established facts and behaviours.
For me, table-top role-playing games are all about the story and the role-playing, so when I feel like this, I worry that I have ruined the game for everyone else around the table. This is harder to ‘get over’ than the previous example but it is still possible to do so.
My main method for coping with this is to consider what actions I undertook in the session, and what I said, and incorporate them into the character. At the end of the day, everything I do in-character is an opportunity for character development and by considering what I’ve done, my character can change in unexpected ways.
I’ve also found that keeping an in-character journal helps with this.

The third result that I’m going to talk about today is that I worry about having held up the game, or that I have otherwise detracted from the experience for the person who is giving up their time to run it.
The only solution I have found to this is one that also helps with all of the above.

To wit, ask someone in the group, whether a player or the person running the game, whether you have done what you think that you have done. Hearing that you have no foundation for your worries from someone directly involved with them, in my experience, helps to assuage said worries.

Obviously, all of these coping mechanisms have a fluctuating level of results and sometimes don’t work as much as I would hope them to, but it is useful to still enact them to bring a little peace of mind.

I know this is a little short, but it isn’t an easy subject to talk about, so I hope this has helped you gain a little understanding into some of the effects of anxiety.

If you find my coping mechanisms useful, or have your own, please let me know in the comments.

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